Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy in Union Square, Manhattan & Online Throughout New York
Have you ever started a sentence with the phrase, “there’s a part of me?” It’s true. You have an internal system of parts, each trying to protect or help you in the only way it knows how. When the strategy those parts learned stops working, you’ll encounter symptoms like anxiety, depression, anger, etc. IFS gives you a map for accepting and working with all of your parts instead of fighting the ones you like least.
The Struggle
One part of you wants to rest. Another won’t let you stop until the to-do list is all checked off. One part shows up as the harsh inner critic the moment you make a mistake. Another goes numb the second things get emotionally close. You might notice yourself people pleasing in one relationship and shutting down in another, procrastinating on something that matters and then spiraling in shame about it, or feeling like you contain two completely different people depending on the day.
This internal tug of war is exhausting, and it rarely responds to willpower or good advice, because the parts in conflict are not flaws to override. They’re protectors, each one using the only strategy they know, the one that worked in the past, even if it doesn’t work now.
The Approach
Internal Family Systems is built on a simple, hopeful premise: your mind is naturally made up of parts, often described as managers, firefighters, and exiles, and beneath all of them is a core Self that is calm, curious, compassionate, and capable of leading. The goal of IFS isn’t to get rid of parts or silence the loud ones. It’s to understand each one and help the most burdened parts find relief.
In our work together, I help you slow down enough to notice which part is speaking in a given moment, get curious about it, and eventually access the Self energy underneath the noise. For clients also doing trauma work, I integrate IFS with EMDR and somatic awareness, since exiled parts often carry both emotional weight and physical sensation.
What Sessions Look Like
Sessions are collaborative and paced by you. We start by identifying the parts most active in your daily life: the ones that show up as anxiety, perfectionism, avoidance, or self-criticism. From there, we work on unblending, helping you find enough distance from a part to be curious about it rather than consumed by it. Over time, this opens the door to dialoguing directly with parts, understanding their fears and their jobs, and eventually reaching the exiled parts they have been protecting.
This isn’t a fast process, and it’s not meant to be. Unburdening old pain takes trust, both in the process and in the relationship between us. Most clients notice shifts in how they relate to themselves well before the deeper work is complete.
Who This Helps
IFS is especially effective for chronic self-criticism, people pleasing, perfectionism, procrastination followed by shame, anxiety that seems to have no clear trigger, patterns of numbing or avoidance, complex or developmental trauma, and the kind of ambivalence that makes even small decisions feel paralyzing. It is also a strong fit for anyone who has done insight-oriented work before, understands their patterns intellectually, and is still looking for the piece that creates real change.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does IFS mean I have multiple personalities? No. Having parts is a normal feature of every mind, not a disorder. IFS is not related to dissociative identity disorder, though it can be adapted for clients who do have complex dissociation.
Isn't this just talking to myself? It is more structured than that. IFS gives each part a role, a history, and a job, and teaches you to relate to it the way you would a person you care about, rather than a stray thought to dismiss.
How is this different from just naming my feelings? Naming a feeling is a start. IFS goes further by asking what that feeling is protecting, what it is afraid would happen if it stopped doing its job, and what it needs in order to trust a different approach.
How long does IFS take? It varies widely. Some clients feel real relief within a few months of consistent work. Deeper unburdening of long-held pain is usually a longer arc, similar to other depth-oriented trauma work.
Ready to Begin
If you are tired of being at war with parts of yourself, IFS offers a different way forward, one built on curiosity instead of control. I offer IFS therapy in person in Union Square, Manhattan, and by telehealth throughout New York State. Book a free 20-minute consultation to see if this approach fits where you are.
